到达英格尔伍德

刚到达英格尔伍德，过去所有经验瞬间归零，不只是因为无处可去，而是没弄清楚为什么这么快又到了一个完全不认识的地方。

我把这里当成了深圳，以为随便坐一趟公车就可以去任何地方。脑子里不停的闪回出发前刚刚上映的《让子弹飞》，真让人手足无措。

札记

1

去美国的想法出现在两个月前，某天晚上心血来潮的把签名改成“我想去美国”，意思大概是想找一些没见识过的新鲜，离现在的生活远点。过去的一年说不上坏，只是觉得不该这样下去。五月在北京见过Joey，他那时正准备去美国工作，我便随意说，有空去找你玩。我把每句话都当成了承诺。所幸手续并不复杂，几天就搞定了签注和机票，请好假，在一年即将结束时迫不及待的踏出了门。

浦东机场国际出发的柜台有点空荡，办理值机的工作人员看了看我的护照说，你名字拼错了。那名字果然订票时就写错了，我问怎么从深圳飞过来也没人告诉我？打了几通电话给客服也没有得到满意的答复，我满脸无奈的说，不然让我先出去吧。她说，可以是可以，但回来可能会出问题。换做前几年，肯定会惦记一路，而如今这没让我多半点担心，经历的坏处是让人冷静的出奇，认为这类鸡毛蒜皮的小事都可以解决。随着岁月的推移，越来越多的事在经验面前变得可控，也同时失去了更多曲折的可能。

起飞不久空姐把遮光板全部关上，一路再也没打开，不知是否为了适应时差转变。拿出东野奎吾的《秘密》来读，轻装出行很久，这次也不例外，当把所有东西都塞到了一个背包里后，只剩这本书塞不下，就放到口袋里。它帮助我打发了最初几个小时，没有想象中好看，气氛却很怀旧。怀旧也成了我中意的形容词，无论是电影，音乐还是书，只要有八九十年代的味道总让人感觉不差，日本作家笔端里的妥帖的生活气息，竟然有某种奇怪的代入感。累了就抬头盯着屏幕上没有声音的电影，或者胡思乱想，用路上的空隙思考，把灵感记在本子上。周围大部分是中国人，一路没什么人说话，每隔一会儿空姐就推车出来发点吃的，时间被割碎后显得也没那么难熬。到达的那刻真的觉得和每次降落后要迎接的陌生地点没什么两样，如今面对移动那么坦然，对于陌生的感动也变得异常平和。

2

过关时边检随便问了我几个常规问题，为什么来，都计划去哪里，哪天回之类。接着问我第几次来美国，我说第一次，他稍做惊讶状，你从哪里学的英语。我回答，就学校里啊。他问，是国际学校吗？我说，不是。然后要求我出示回程的机票。我说买的是电子票。

这个航站楼看上去主要停靠亚洲航班，广播正用中日韩三种语言反复播放着航空信息，我排在很长的队伍后等行李，周围各种口音的英语灌入耳朵。到达LA的第一天就发现这里跟想象中的美国不怎么一样，每个人都说着不同的英语。大概是从前接触过的美国人口音都很端正，所以误认为这里每个人都说着像电影里一样标准的美式英语。

刚出机场便吹来一股潮湿的寒风，打醒了在密闭的空间里闷了十几个小时的麻木，有种读书时坐了一夜硬座火车清早到达目的地后那般亢奋和疲惫。才想起并不知道订好的旅馆在哪儿，自己对旅行的随意程度已经到达了某种极致，身上除了两本袖珍的Lonely Planet就只剩一张打印出来的极其简略的行程单，被折了两下夹在书里，有路上到达和中转使用的所有交通工具的时刻和旅馆的联络方式。这张A4纸直到在纽约的最后几天还在身上，已经快被揉碎，还蹭了些血迹，说明了旅程还真有点不堪。

在出口的高架桥下站了一会儿，来来往往的人似乎都有地方可去，有的跳上了别人的车，有的在各种terminal等着旅馆的巴士，我也决定打个电话给旅馆。经过信号极差的几通电话后终于说清了我在哪里，旅馆说过一会儿来接我。我于是竟站在加州西海岸冬季的寒风和小雨中等了两个小时！又是执拗症发作，否则从地图上看无论是坐公交，打车甚至走路都远远少于这个时间。或许也因为我许了个承诺，真是好笑，答应要来接的又不是我。期间打了好几次电话，只能模糊的听到那边的声音，每次都是同样的说辞，很快就到了，让我再等等。意志最后敌不过身体，就在快饿昏过去时，还是忍不住踏上了旁边的出租车，说了我要去的地方，然后松了口气。坐在车上想，这么近的路应该不出二十块吧，还琢磨着要给多少小费。当车越开越快，计价器逼近四十的时候突然心虚的问了句，这是在去某某路的某某旅馆吗？司机回头，什么？你刚才可不是这么说的。有种被刺激到了的感觉，过去的经验全部归零，到达洛杉矶后立即失效。我只好找出行程单上旅馆的地址，司机开始用GPS搜索，并对着电话用法语抱怨了一通。

到了纸上的地址仍旧不见旅馆的踪影，荒凉的公路上稀落的排列着一些低矮的建筑。心里有点发毛的再次打给旅店，另外一端的声音淡定的告诉我，网上的地址写错了。幸好错的不太离谱，我终于花了两个半小时用六十五美金搞定了三公里的路，成功到达那家门面超小的motel。雨已经下的非常大，狼狈的钻进公路边那座不起眼的小房子。在前台登记完毕后，我问，你们不是说要来接吗，为什么等了两个小时都没来。前台的女生面无表情的回答，对不起。我瞪着眼睛看她等待进一步解释，她本来准备扭身去忙，看我并不满意这个答案，又机械的重复了一遍，对不起。我想疯了的人是我，订了十五块一天的旅馆。

3

拿着钥匙来到后院最角落的多人间，一进去就是股呛鼻的酸味，有几个人还在睡觉。找到我的床位，把行李放下，考虑了两秒钟该休息一会儿还是先出去吃点东西，已经十几个小时没有进食所以还是决定出去。出门把伞打开，不到一秒钟就被狂风吹散，为了减轻负重带了一把最轻的伞。我站在前厅和后院中间一片遮雨的地方进退两难，那边放了一些八十年代的游戏机，赛车和格斗之类，还有投币抓玩具的机器，自助咖啡机。投币的唱片点唱机里放着Jewel的老歌。

旅馆的住客看起来不多，偶尔有在寒风里穿着短裤体型硕大的美国人，颤抖的老人，打扫房间的墨西哥人，德国的年轻人，印度人，日本人。黄色的灯泡在雨中晃晃悠悠，旁边竟然还有个很小的游泳池，看上去是热水，在雨中冒着蒸汽。这难道真的不是某部公路电影里的场面吗？吊诡的汽车旅馆，没有目的地的旅行者，没有希望的一天。

前台已经换了班，我问可否借把伞，同样年轻的女生用同样没有感情的语气回答，这里没有伞可借，当然也没得卖。她甚至不理解我为何会提出这样的需求。我又问，那这里有吃饭的地方吗？她说，餐厅要晚上才开，下午两点有免费的cookie。看了看时间，离两点还有不到半小时，等着总比冒着大雨到视野里都没有标志性建筑物的快速路边寻找食物强，体力值已经降到极限的我放弃了再次冒险的机会。于是我就在那点唱机旁边的下午茶供应点坐着等饼干，像个等待领救济食品的流浪汉，外边的雨不时扫到脚边，那感觉真幻妙。事实上并不讨厌这种流落街头的落魄经历，对我来说都是家常便饭，直到现在还能清楚的回忆起刚到深圳时在天桥下吃盒饭的模样，让人觉得生活充满了各种新奇的体验，我还有机会出现在那些让人丢失的世界，也是值得高兴的事。

幸好这个motel唯一的服务没有失约，若再被欺骗一次恐怕就要横死异国了。喝了杯热咖啡，身体慢慢暖了起来，大半天没喝水，如今竟必须用讨厌的饮料解渴。劣质的饼干味道竟然不差，只要有了手工就可以任想象发挥。牌子上写每人限拿一块，我于是在吃完三大块后很有道德的停了下来，住客竟然对下午茶时间了如指掌，时不时有人走过来扫走几块。

雨小了点，也恢复了一些体力，既不冷也不那么饿，看到有人穿着短裤不带伞在只有十度左右的天气自如行走，突然觉得冒雨去找点其他吃的应该也不是不行。过来的车上记得前一个转弯处有家汉堡王，可是估不出距离。走出旅馆发现真的只是公路而已，对方向感一直没那么自信，于是保守的冲进视线内唯一的餐馆。

那家中国餐馆一个客人也没有，基本上只是个外卖窗口，除了炸鸡还是炸鸡，一对中年夫妇在满是油污的橱窗里炸着比上校鸡块还要恶心的各种鸡肉。没办法还是点了一袋，坐下吃了两口就吐了出来，然后奇迹的觉得已经不饿了。我起身到橱窗前突然用中文问老板这是哪里，哪里有卖伞，哪里可以坐公车到市区。还好他们会说中文，这些傻到极点的问题在出发前就该问问自己。他们觉得一个中国人独自出现在快速路边的餐馆很神奇，于是便一番寒暄，无非又是从哪里来到哪里去来这边做什么。

他们祖籍在海南，二十几年前从深圳经香港过来，之后都没怎么回去过，他们问深圳现在是不是很繁华，离开的时候还什么都没有呢。还告诉我这边没什么玩的，要去好莱坞。来了客人后老板娘去招呼，老板从抽屉里拿出一张破旧的地图，告诉我哪里中国人多，还给我指了指现在的位置，依稀看到这地方叫Inglewood，后来从谷歌地图上看，被翻译成英格尔伍德，我想了想，如果按照好莱坞的翻译方法，不是应该叫英格坞吗？那时对洛杉矶没有任何概念，我要知道的也不只是这些。他们又告诉我便利店怎么走，我过去买了水和伞。

弄完这些已经折腾到了傍晚，雨也基本停了，想回去冲个凉早点睡觉，竟看到一个东亚面孔的人在淋浴间里撒尿！我忍住崩溃礼貌的跟他说，洗手间在旁边，他善良的点了点头。第一晚异常难熬，还不到七点就躺下，有种二十四个小时没睡觉的错觉，不知睡了多久被饿醒，时间已是凌晨一点。外边肯定找不到吃饭的地方，拿出下午剩的炸鸡啃，幸好没有扔掉，这让我免于一死。风雨敲打在床头的小窗，打开手机刷饭否，彼岸应该是白天，网上很热闹。接下来就是长久的失眠。大概因为在机场附近，住客的时间都很混乱，四周起身淋浴、解手、开灯的人始终没停息，排着队的睡下，起床，离开。

4

辗转到早上五点多一直睡不着，躺的实在难受，因为只有Lobby有无线网络，就起身到那里的沙发上刷手机。外边的天已经显出灰蒙蒙的颜色，前台见我无所事事好奇地问，你是在等穿梭巴吗？我心想，你们的穿梭巴真的会开吗？不过嘴上却文艺的回答，我在等天亮。

出去旅馆时雨还没停，路边仍旧几乎没有人。这次换了个方向走，迎面走过来的身形高大的黑人靠近我时突然问，有没有零钱，我下意识的向后退了退说，没有，不过也的确没有。几百米外的一个十字路口拐角发现了麦当劳，终于觉得苦尽甘来，点了早餐全餐大吃一顿。也找到了公交站牌，原来不仅机场出来就有直接到旅馆的公交，而且这里也可以直接到好莱坞。

刚来的这天特别漫长，不只是因为无处可去，而是没弄清楚为什么这么快又到了一个完全不认识的地方，出发前美好的觉得既然第一天到达时间很早，有时间还可以去《生活大爆炸》里Sheldon提到的火车博物馆转转。我把这里当成了深圳，以为随便坐一趟公车就可以随处可去。脑子里不停的闪回出发前刚刚上映的《让子弹飞》，真让人手足无措。

选曲

Billy Joel - My Life

词/曲：Billy Joel
专辑：《52nd Street》1978

Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Said he couldn't go on the American way
Closed the shop, sold the house
Bought a ticket to the West Coast
Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.
I don't need you to worry for me 'cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong, don't get me wrong
And you can speak your mind, but not on my time
They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's OK, you wake up with yourself
I don't need you to worry for me 'cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong, don't get me wrong
And you can speak your mind, but not on my time
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
Keep it to yourself it's my life.
Keep it to yourself it's my life.
Keep it to yourself it's my life.
Keep it to yourself it's my life.

Daniel Powter - Bad Day

词/曲：Daniel Powter
专辑：《Daniel Powter》2006

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
'Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well, you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh, what a horrible day)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well, oh, that strong
And I'm not wrong
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
'Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Jewel - Kiss the Flame

词/曲：Jewel
专辑：《Spirit》1998

Please love let's make no impartial vow
Let's all fall away
That's not crucial now
I want a brave love, one that makes me weak in the knees
I want a crazy, crazy love
One that makes me come undone at the seams
'Cause I'm tired of all these pilgrims, these puritans, these thieves
Of all these unbelievers who whittle love down at the knees
Let these swift roads destroy themselves
Let the world fall into its sleep
For we shall be spared
We shall be left standing
To face what's left of concrete and honey
Kiss the flame
Let's run with the hunted, the untamed
Kiss the flame
Embrace the faceless, the unnamed
Kiss the flame
There are nightmares on these sidewalks
There are jokes on TV
There are people selling thoughtlessness
With such casualty
But wherefore art thou Romeo
Where have all the brave men gone
Show me one man who knows his own heart
To him I shall belong
Kiss the flame
Let's run with the hunted, the untamed
Kiss the flame
Embrace the faceless, the unnamed
Kiss the flame
Kiss the flame
Kiss the flame
Please love let's make no impartial vow

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

词/曲：Leonard Cohen
专辑：《Grace》1994

Well, I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Well, baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Well, there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me, do ya?
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

背景音乐

《天堂陌影》电影原声 / John Lurie - Car Cleveland

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Jeff Buckley
"Grace"
1994